Why Sanford Thinks Maria is His Soul Mate

Commenting on the Sanford affair from the standpoint of someone who has been researching infidelity for the past 15 years, ( and as an infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment infidelity issues in the news), I would like point out the reason South Carolina Gov Mark Sanford thinks his Argentinean mistress, Maria Belen Chapur, is his “soul mate.”

Sanford is convinced that his Argentinean mistress is his “soul mate” because he is in the throes of an extramarital affair in which there is a dual emotional/sexual bond.

Sanford’s behavior, embarrassing as it may be, is typical behavior for a cheating husband who has formed a strong emotional attachment to the person with whom he is having an affair.

Sanford has stated that his affair began as an innocent e-mail exchange between friends. It took 8 years for this friendship to become an emotional affair, then progress to a sexual affair. Sanford is dealing with the mental anguish associated with trying to break an extremely strong emotional bond that took 8 years to form.
(For more information about Emotional Infidelity, click here)

Withdrawal Symptoms will Occur

A cheating husband who has become emotionally bonded to his mistress will experience withdrawal symptoms upon ending the affair.

His heart will ache for his mistress.

He will miss her, yearn for her, long to see her.

He will go through a period of depression.

He will be convinced (in his mind) that the mistress was his soul mate, the love of his life.

He will experience misgivings about trying to reconcile with his wife.

He Should Have Been Told What to Expect After Ending His Affair

Sanford's advisors were remiss in not telling him what to expect.

If the cheater is not told beforehand what to expect, he may (like Sanford) exhibit erratic behavior or act in unpredictable ways. This explains Sanford’s secret trip to Argentina, the press conference in which he confessed his affair, and the interview in which he spoke of his mistress as being his soul mate.

The proper way to terminate an extramarital affair is for the cheating husband to immediately sever all ties and have no further contact with the Other Woman. If the cheater is not told beforehand what to expect after he does this ( as apparently Sanford was not), he will give in to the urge to communicate with his mistress, or to see her “just one more time.”

He is also likely to misinterpret his feelings to mean that perhaps he has made a mistake in trying to reconcile with his wife and get his marriage back on track.

A cheating husband should be warned in advance of what to expect. He needs to understand that the intense feelings he is about to experience are a normal part of the grieving process for the loss of an affair. Thus informed, he will be more likely to “tough it out” until his feelings subside. He will be better able to resist the urge to see his mistress again, or his desire to resurrect the affair because he will realize that this is just a phase he is going through.

If Sanford can successfully get past the grieving process, he will realize that the 8- year bond he had with his mistress can in no way surpass the bond he has with his wife of 20 years and the mother of his four sons.

Jenny Sanford Understands

The position Jenny Sanford has taken shows that unlike Sanford, or his advisors, she has remarkable insight into what is happening to her husband as a result of his affair.

She seems to understand that once his feelings subside, as they most certainly will with time, Sanford will be able to devote himself wholeheartedly to the business of regaining her trust and rebuilding their marriage.

Despite the hurt, humiliation and heartbreak Jenny Sanford has undoubtedly experienced as a result of her husband’s behavior, she is willing to forgive him when he comes to his senses and allow him to make amends and begin the hard work of getting his marriage back on track.

Jenny Sanford is to be commended for serving as a role model to betrayed wives everywhere. She has shown the world how a wife with a cheating husband can lay the groundwork for saving her marriage without sacrificing her dignity and self respect. (NOTE: For details see the article entitled, If He’s Cheating, Take a Firm Stand. )

More information related to the Sanford Affair

For more information about Emotional infidelity, click here for the article entitled
Emotional Infidelity Can Lead to Sexual Infidelity

For more observations on the Sanford affair from an infidelity experts point of view, click here for the article entitled
The Sanford Affair – An Infidelity Expert’s Observations

For insight into why Sanford secretly flew to Argentina to see Maria Belen Chapur, click here for the press release entitled
Why Sanford Kept Sneaking Off to See His Mistress – An Infidelity Expert Reveals the Truth

For an in depth look at the steps Jenny Sanford is taking to pave the way for saving her marriage, click here to see the article entitled
If He’s Cheating, Take a Firm Stand.

The Sanford Affair – an Infidelity Expert’s Observations

As an infidelity expert frequently called on by the media to comment popular infidelity issues and infidelity breaking news, I’d like to share some observations on South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s Affair:

The Danger Of Opposite Sex Friendships

Sanford’s affair highlights the danger of opposite sex friendships, and how they can undermine a marriage if they turn into emotional affairs. Most people underestimate the danger of close friendships with members of the opposite sex, because they start out innocently, and in the early stages, no sex involved.

Very often, the person involved in a friendship of this type does not realize how much of a threat it can be to his or her marriage or relationship.

If the situation is not put into check, the bonds formed in a friendship like this will become stronger and stronger until they progress to emotional infidelity, which is the precursor to sexual infidelity.

If cultivated and nurtured over a period of weeks, months and years, an innocent friendship between close friends of the opposite sex can escalate into an extramarital affair. This is exactly what happened between Mark Sanford and his Argentinean mistress Maria Belen Chapur.

For more information on how insidious emotional infidelity can be, click here, or visit http://infidelityadvice.blogspot.com/2009/04/emotional-infidelity-can-lead-to-sexual.html

Today’s opposite sex friendship can quickly become tomorrow’s extramarital affair. Friendships with members of the opposite sex need to be monitored very closely, and checks and balances need to be put in place. Otherwise they can quickly cross the line.

Many have found the Emotional Infidelity Quiz and Tip Sheet very helpful in making sure that their (or their partner’s) opposite sex friendship is not in the danger zone. The tip sheet that accompanies the quiz suggests several checks and balances that can be put into place to keep an opposite sex friendship from becoming an emotional affair. For a free copy of the Emotional Infidelity Quiz and Tip Sheet, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Emotional –bSan” in the subject line.

The Difficulties a Cheating Politician’s Wife Faces in Making a Decision

Betrayed wives like Jenny Sanford are faced with the decision of trying to decide whether or not to give the cheating spouse a second chance. It’s not an easy decision to make. While the wives of many cheating politicians stay with their husbands, there are some wives who choose to leave. Dina McGreevey and Terry Mahoney come to mind.

For a discussion of some of the reasons cheating politician’s wives and other women choose to stay with a cheating mate, click here, or visit http://infidelityadvice.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-elizabeth-edwards-and-other-wives.html

For a discussion of what ordinary women do when their husbands cheat, click here, or visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/2008/08/what-ordinary-women-do-when-their.html

Regardless of a betrayed wife’s final choice, many factors are taken into consideration before a final decision is made on the best course of action to take. First and foremost are the attitude of the cheater, and the circumstances of the affair.

If a wife who has been a victim of infidelity decides to stay with her husband, there are two major obstacles she will face, which are mentioned here.

http://freeinfidelitytipsheets.blogspot.com/2009/05/stay-with-cheater-or-leave-him-new-tip.html

The Go or Stay Tip Sheet points out some of the key factors a wife should consider when deciding whether to leave a cheating husband, or give him a second chance. It also covers the two biggest obstacles to taking a cheating spouse back, and offers suggestions on how these obstacles can be overcome. To request a FREE copy of the Go or Stay Tip Sheet, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Go or Stay-bSan” in the subject line.

Why Politicians Cheat

As usual, when a cheating politician makes the news, we ask ourselves the question: Why do politicians cheat?

Having done several interviews in the past two days addressing this question, I’d like to repeat that the reasons politicians cheat are as varied as the politicians themselves.

For a discussion of the 5 most common reasons politicians cheat, click here or visit
http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/2009/06/5-reasons-why-politicians-cheat.html

For more on why politicians cheat and what their wives can do click here, or visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/2008/03/cheating-politicians-why-politicians.html

It’s interesting to note that Gov. Sanford’s affair differs from that of the usual cheating politician. From the e-mail exchange between Sanford and his mistress, it’s obvious clear that this was no mere sexual fling. Sanford was clearly a man in love. This was a deep emotional bond that developed over a period of several years.

What it Will Take to Make the Sanford Marriage Work

Sanford’s wife, Jenny has expressed her willingness to forgive her husband, and I sincerely wish them both well. They have a long, arduous task ahead. An extramarital affair like Mark Sanford’s which involves a dual sexual / emotional bond is far more difficult to recover from than an affair based primarily on sex. It will require very strong commitment on both their parts. But both Sanfords seem determined to make their marriage work. Again, I wish them well.

5 Reasons Why Politicians Cheat

In the wake of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford’s extramarital affair, we once again find ourselves asking the question:

Why do politicians cheat?

There are a number of reasons why politicians cheat, but the five most common reasons are below.

A Sense of Entitlement

Many politicians feel they can do whatever they want because of who they are and the position they hold. They consider themselves exempt from the rules that govern everyone else.

The Thrill of the Chase

Many cheating men enjoy the subterfuge, the lying, the scheming associated with having an affair. Cheating politicians are no different. Infidelity gives them the kind of adrenaline rush they’d get from participating in a high risk sport.

Ego-Embellishment Reasons

Having an extramarital affair can feed the already inflated ego that many politicians have. They can mentally congratulate themselves for being cunning enough to keep everyone around them in the dark about what they’re doing behind closed doors.

The Excitement of Doing Something Forbidden

Just like ordinary men, some cheating politicians engage in infidelity or extramarital affairs solely for the excitement of doing something that’s forbidden.

The Belief that They Can Get Away With It

One of the main reasons many politicians cheat on their wives and have extramarital affairs is because they feel confident that they can get away with it. And many of them do. We only hear about the ones who get caught.

Should the Wife of a Cheating Politician Go or Stay?

While the wives of many cheating politicians stay with their husbands, there are some wives who choose to leave. Dina McGreevey and Terry Mahoney come to mind. There are many factors a betrayed wife should take into consideration when trying to decide the best course of action to take. First and foremost are the attitude of the cheater, and the circumstances of the affair.

The Go or Stay Tip Sheet points out some of the factors a wife would want to consider when trying to decide whether to leave her cheating spouse, or give the cheater a second chance. It also covers the two biggest obstacles to taking a cheater back, and offers suggestions on how these obstacles can be overcome. To request a FREE copy of the Go or Stay Tip Sheet, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Go or Stay-bSan" in the subject line.

For the Wife Who Decides to Stay

Women who have already made the decision to stay with a mate who has cheated, will benefit from the Affair Recovery information included in the Bonus Section of the e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs.
NOTE: The Affair Recovery information does NOT come with the softcover book.

The e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? available from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html contains the Affair Recovery Information below:

• What the Two of You Must Do to Survive Your Husband's Affair
• Advice for the Husband Who Cheated
• Advice for the Betrayed Wife
• Can Your Marriage Survive His Affair? - Questionnaire
• Will He Cheat Again? – Questionnaire

This Affair Recovery Information is especially helpful to women who are trying to reconcile with a cheating mate. To order the e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? ($37) click here, or visit http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html

Jon and Kate – Why We Cared So Much About Their Fate

For weeks, Jon and Kate were objects of intense interest.

They graced the covers of numerous tabloids and entertainment magazines.

To satisfy the public’s curiosity about their dual allegations of infidelity, TV and radio shows, newspapers, magazines, and websites tracked this couple’s every move.

There probably wasn’t a media outlet in the country that didn’t run at least one story about Jon and Kate, or make mention of their TV reality show.

As infidelity rumors escalated, we followed everything Jon and Kate said and did - together, individually, or with someone else.

Then we blogged about them, tweeted about them, and discussed them in cyberspace.

Enticed by rumors of infidelity, almost 10 million people watched the season’s premiere of Jon and Kate Plus 8, to see what all the fuss was about. Many were people who previously had no interest in the show.

Fans posted comments online. As people chose sides, arguments ensued. People became personally involved.

The Announcement Didn’t Stem the Tide of Interest in Jon and Kate

When TLC told us that Jon and Kate had a life-changing announcement to make, everyone, from celebrities and talk show hosts, to the guy next door had a theory as to what that announcement would be.

By now, we all know that Jon and Kate have decided to separate. Following a brief hiatus, the show will continue. But the couple has filed for divorce. The children will to live on the family’s 24 acre estate. Their parents will take turns living with them in the house.

But the story isn’t over because fans and non-fans alike continue to speculate about Jon and Kate. Millions of people are still intent on watching this drama unfold.

Has anyone bothered to question why?

Just why are we so concerned about the fate of Jon and Kate? Why do we still care?

Why the Sudden Interest in Jon & Kate Plus 8?

Although this is the 5th season for the TLC’ Network’s reality show about this couple and their 8 children, it wasn’t until rumors of infidelity surfaced that Jon and Kate became household names.

These pseudo-celebrities owe their new-found fame, and the public’s sudden the interest in their affairs (no pun intended) to the accusations of infidelity on both their parts.

Infidelity as a Spectator Sport

As an infidelity expert , frequently called on by the media to comment on celebrity infidelity, high profile infidelity court cases, and infidelity breaking news, I can personally attest to the public’s consuming interest in all things infidelity – especially if the rich and famous are involved.
When someone in the public eye cheats on his or her mate, or is even rumored to be having an affair, the public wants to know every detail as the drama unfolds.

Infidelity has become the new spectator sport.

Why Infidelity Piques Our Interest

What is it about infidelity that holds our fascination? For one thing, it’s a topic that almost everyone can relate to in some way. Infidelity crosses all boundaries. It affects everyone, regardless of race, religion, social status, age, income level, or educational background.
Who among us doesn’t have at least one friend, relative, or co-worker who is cheating, or has been cheated on? Most of us have been victims of infidelity ourselves.

A USA Today/Gallup poll reported that 54% of Americans said they knew someone with a cheating spouse. If you factor in unmarried people in committed relationships who are cheating on their mates, that percentage jumps even higher.

Some form of infidelity (physical, emotional, online, female, same-sex, workplace) affects 80% of all marriages and committed relationships today.

Infidelity Entertains Us, But There Are Lessons to Be Learned

Infidelity has become a form of entertainment. It’s a recurring theme in soap operas, talk shows, movies, and novels, just to name a few.

But apart from the entertainment value of infidelity, there are lessons to be learned. Public accounts of infidelity can provide valuable insight for others who are struggling with infidelity issues of their own.

Celebrity infidelity captures the attention of everyone involved - the cheater, the infidelity victim, the Other Woman/ Other Man, and any friends, co-workers or relatives who know of, or who are affected by the affair. It’s not just idle curiosity. People are are seeking information, answers, solutions, advice that they can apply to their own personal situation.

If Jon or Kate Cheated, Do They Deserve a Second Chance?

We still don’t know for sure if Jon and Kate actually cheated on each other. But the rumors of infidelity raised many questions about what a couple should do when one or both spouses have had an affair. Should they stay together? Get a divorce? What if there are children involved? Would marriage counseling help? Each situation is different. Many factors need to be considered before a final decision is made.

Did Jon and Kate make the right decision? Did they consider all the factors involved? That remains to be seen. Only time will tell. But fans will continue to speculate about Jon and Kate, as long as the infidelity rumors persist.

Stay with a Cheater or Leave? How to Decide

The Go or Stay Tip Sheet covers factors to consider when trying to decide whether to leave a cheating spouse, or give the cheater a second chance. It also covers the two major obstacles to taking a cheater back, and offers suggestions on how these obstacles can be overcome. For a FREE copy of the Go or Stay Tip Sheet, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Go or Stay-bjk” in the subject line.

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses, or extramarital affairs, visit www.InfidelityAdvice.com or http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com

How Infidelity Gave Jon and Kate Their Highest Ratings Ever

The media circus surrounding Jon and Kate Gosselin is a perfect example of how the mere hint of infidelity can boost the ratings of a TV show, and make even pseudo-celebrities an object of public interest for weeks on end.

The stars of the TLC Network’s reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, have recently been the subjects of much speculation, mainly because of rumors of infidelity.

Jon is rumored to be cheating on Kate with 23-year-old schoolteacher, Deanna Hummel.
Kate is rumored to be cheating on Jon with Steven Nield, the family's bodyguard.

These dual allegations of infidelity led to the reality TV show Jon and Kate Plus 8 getting its highest ratings ever.

Even people who previously had no interest in the show, tuned in to watch the season’s premiere, resulting in an estimated 9.8 million viewers – the highest numbers ever in the history of the TLC Network.

I attribute all this interest in Jon and Kate to the fact that infidelity has become the new spectator sport.

As an infidelity expert frequently called on by the media to comment on celebrity infidelity, high profile infidelity court cases, and infidelity breaking news, I can personally attest to the public’s voracious appetite for anything related to infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs – especially if the rich and famous, or someone in the public eye is involved.

Adding an infidelity angle almost guarantees an increase in viewers, listeners, or readers – which may be why some people suspect the that Jon and Kate infidelity rumors may be a publicity stunt.

What the TLC Network Should Do to Save the Show

Several sources report that the ratings for Jon and Kate Plus 8 are starting to drop. According to one source, the number of viewers dropped approximately 40% to 5.8 million, then to 4.3 million for the last episode.

The smart thing for TLC to do would be to capitalize on all the speculation about whether or not the Gosselin’s marriage will survive by bringing in a marriage and family counselor to work with Jon and Kate.

After all, Jon and Kate Plus 8 is a reality TV show. Why not let the viewers see the reality of how counseling can help a couple get their troubled marriage back on track?

By actively doing something visible to help Jon and Kate solve their marriage problems, TLC could put a positive spin on things and offset the criticism they’re receiving from viewers who blame TLC for couple’s current state of affairs. (No pun intended)

Of course, this will only work if both Jon and Kate agree to fully cooperate.

Personally, I think the TLC Network has a responsibility to try to help this couple save their marriage. But they’ll need to act quickly.

Because if the rumors are true that the Gosselins did not spend their 10th anniversary together last week, it may already be too late for Jon and Kate.

Go or Stay? Should You Give a Cheater a Second Chance?

What should a couple do if one spouse has had an extramarital affair? Should they stay together for the sake of the children? Or should they terminate the marriage and go their separate ways.
It depends on the circumstances of the infidelity and the attitude of the spouse who had the affair.

The Go or Stay tip sheet covers some of the factors that should be considered when trying to decide whether or not to leave a cheating spouse or stay in the marriage and give the cheater a second chance. For a FREE copy of the Go or Stay Tip Sheet, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Go or Stay” in the subject line.

On Elizabeth Edwards’ Book: Infidelity Expert Comments on Resilience

In my interview with Cindy Hsu of WCBS – TV last week, I mentioned that I was pleased to learn about the imminent release of Elizabeth Edward’s book, Resilience because it will provide a seldom seem glimpse of the hurt, heartbreak, the humiliation a woman experiences in in learning about and trying to come to terms with her husband’s extramarital affair.

An Intimate Look at the Betrayed Wife Has to Say

All too often when we hear or read about cases of high profile infidelity, it’s all about the cheater -- who he is, why he did it, how he got caught, what it will mean to his career. The betrayed wife usually suffers in silence, rarely do we get to hear her story. Hopefully, Elizabeth Edwards’ memoir will change all that.

The book was to have been embargoed until its publication date, but the New York Daily News jumped the gun. Below are my comments on three controversial excerpts from Resilience that have been leaked to the public thus far.

Elizabeth Edwards Vomited When Her Husband Confessed His Affair

In recounting her reaction when John Edwards confessed his affair to her, Elizabeth said, "I cried and screamed, I went to the bathroom and threw up." Though it’s not often written or spoken about, it’s well-documented that infidelity victims experience physical reactions such as nausea, diarrhea, gastro-intestinal disturbances, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, headaches, loss of appetite, insomnia – just to name a few.

As a result of the trauma of infidelity, many betrayed spouses also experience PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms such as depression, anxiety, raging anger, intense shame, guilt, hyper-vigilance, flashbacks, nightmares, and more. Many marriage and family counselors are now using trauma-based therapies in treating victims of infidelity.

Elizabeth Edwards Does Not Mention Her Husband’s Mistress by Name

It has been widely reported that although Elizabeth Edwards talks about her husband’s mistress in the book, she does not actually mention his mistress by name. I’ve been researching infidelity for the past 15 years, and I can tell you that there’s nothing unusual about this. In fact, I applaud Elizabeth Edwards’ refusal to refer to her husband’s mistress by name.

Refusing to acknowledge the Other Woman by name is the recommended course of action for any woman who is trying to reconcile with her cheating mate. Once the affair has been brought out into the open and thoroughly discussed between the two parties involved, there is nothing to be gained by focusing on the Other Woman. To refer to her by name or bring her up name up in every conversation is to make her a part of their life and give her more importance than she deserves. The best approach in trying to repair a marriage, is to ignore the mistress, and carry on as if she doesn’t exist.

John Edwards Did Not Tell Elizabeth the Whole Truth About His Affair

Even when Edwards confessed to his wife, he lied about the affair, claiming it had only happened one time. . In his original version of what happened, he left out most of the truth. Elizabeth Edwards writes, “It turned out that a single time was not all it was.” If and when a cheating husband finally confesses to his wife, he’s likely to conceal many of the facts surrounding the affair. It’s not uncommon for a cheating spouse to continue to lie about the affair until presented with irrefutable proof.

Why do lie? Some cheaters lie in a misguided attempt to spare the betrayed spouse’s feelings. Others lie because they feel their spouses are too trusting or too naïve to ever find out the truth. Still other cheaters lie because they feel they are clever enough to continue the affair behind the betrayed spouses back. It does not bode well if the cheater continues to lie about certain aspects of the affair. A betrayed wife should have some method of confirming whether or nor what she has been told is really true. A reverse phone number search or reverse e-mail search, or a background check on the mistress can prove valuable in uncovering the real truth.

NOTE: For resources to help you uncover the truth, or expose a cheating mate, click here or visit http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/2009/01/infidelity-resources-you-requested-to.html

The Biggest Obstacle to Taking a Cheater Back

The biggest obstacle to taking a cheating husband back is the fear that the he will cheat on you again. It’s a valid fear and the only way to overcome it is to become thoroughly familiar with both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of infidelity. This way, you’ll know right away if the cheating is still going on, or if the cheater is on the verge of cheating again.

For a free special report with detailed descriptions of each of the 21 major categories of infidelity signs, and tips on what kind of signs to look for under each category, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with 21 Categories Report - be in the subject line.

The Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat

An article about the rising rates of infidelity among newlyweds in the latest issue of Women’s Health Magazine carries a quote by me on one of the reasons for the increase in infidelity among newlywed couples: In many instances they’re trying to recapture the feelings or romance, the excitement, and the passion they felt when they were dating. Many of them look outside their marriage for these feelings, if they can’t resurrect them with their marriage mate.

But that reason is way down on the list of reasons why married men and married women cheat on their mates.

Below are the top 10 reasons cheating husbands and cheating wives use to justify their extramarital affairs. You will notice, as you compare the two lists, you will see that for cheating man, sex is the primary motivating factor. While for cheating women, the key factors are marital dissatisfaction and / or unmet emotional needs.

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

• more sex - the desire for a more active sex life
• sexual variety - the desire for different types of sex or a particular sex act
• opportunistic sex – he’s presented with an opportunity to have sex without getting caught
• to satisfy his sexual curiosity about what it would be like to have sex with a particular person
• to reaffirm his sexuality
• a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
• the “thrill of the chase”
• ego embellishment - the desire to feel important or special
• peer pressure
• sexual addiction

Top 10 Reasons Why Women Cheat

• to fulfill an unmet need for emotional intimacy or a desire close emotional bond
• dissatisfaction with her mate
• dissatisfaction with her marriage or relationship
• a desire for male attention
• reaffirmation of her desirability as a woman
• to re-capture the feelings of romance or passion
• a desire to feel “special”
• boredom or loneliness
• feelings of neglect or being taken for granted
• sexual excitement

The Bottom Line on Why Men and Women Cheat

Men tend to cheat largely for sexual reasons, while women cheat for emotional reasons. There are several studies on infidelity that bear that out. One study, in particular, found that 75% to 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was the primary reason. Only 20% of the women who were having extramarital affairs said they cheated on their spouses for purely sexual reasons.

Of course, the reasons above are not the only reasons married men and women cheat on their mates. There are other reasons as well. But these were the reasons most frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who were willing to discuss why they were having an extramarital affair.

Most Cheaters Never Get Caught

Studies indicate that most infidelity goes undetected. The majority of cheating spouses never get caught. In one study, 70% of married women and 54% of married men had no idea their spouse was having an extramarital affair. Another study found that 60% of the cheating spouses said their partner did not know about their affair.

But even undetected infidelity can take its toll on a marriage. So it’s to your advantage to familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity. Knowing what to look for is the key. If more husbands and wives knew how to spot the signs of infidelity, more marriages could be saved. Early intervention can keep a budding affair from blossoming into a full blown romance. Early intervention can also prevent an affair already in progress from reaching the point of no return.”

Knowing What to Look for is the Key

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs most people usually overlook. Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to both cheating women and cheating men. Click here to order now. (Also available from http://www.ishecheatingbook.com/, Amazon.com, or 1-800-431-1579)

FREE Report on How to Spot the Signs of Infidelity

To request a free copy, of the special infidelity report entitled “21 Ways to Spot a Cheating Mate” e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with 21 Ways –b in the subject line.